The most random meme I've ever answered.

Scott tagged me for a meme nearly a week ago, so I got up early this morning to do it, because he hasn't posted since. I don't know if it was the memeless state of this blog or not, but I enjoy his blog so much that I don't want to risk any nonaction of mine being the reason why he doesn't post. So here goes...

1. What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now?
We don't have a bath, tub or otherwise. I ripped it out during the great bathroom renovation of 2006 and put in a toilet instead. We're strictly a shower family. That being said, the soap in the shower is 'Cedarwood and Sage' that I took from the bathroom of the Marriott in Phuket. They may have ripped us off shamelessly while we were there, but by gum! I came back with 8 cakes of free soap. That'll teach 'em!

2. Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator?
No. (Why would anyone want to know this??) Jack eats watermelons like a hippo, so when I buy them they rarely last long. That's something they graze on when they're at their Dad's fruit shop.

3. What would you change about your living room?
Everything except the people and animals who live here, the pictures on the walls and the ornaments I've slowly assembled over the years. I guess that makes them heirlooms... (This means that my children will have to work for a living. Any value my 'heirlooms' have is strictly sentimental.)

4. Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty?
Clean. However, the dishes still piled up in the sink are definitely not.

5. What is in your fridge?
Food, wine, beer, perfume and milk.

6. White or wheat bread?
This is where those whacky Americans give themselves away...
White bread is made of wheat, so this is an extremely difficult question to answer, unless of course you are an absolute genius like me, and you realise that what the author of this meme really meant to ask was white or brown bread. Or possibly wholemeal.
My answer: usually the good for you stuff. However, jaffles taste far better with white bread, and there's nothing nicer than white bread slathered with butter and Vegemite. Mmmmmmm.

7. What is on top of your refrigerator?
This person is obsessed with my fridge...
there's a gift box with some white china platters that I can't fit anywhere else in the kitchen.

8. What colour or design is on your shower curtain.
It's glass.

9. How many plants are in your home?
Just one in the bathroom, I'm afraid. I want to get more, but I've been too busy with other things. There's heaps of plants in the garden, though.

10. Is your bed made right now?
No. Connor is sleeping in it, and he would've objected had I tried to tidy up.

11. Comet or Soft Scrub?
Is this an astronomy question? I pick comets... they zip quickly through the place and leave a trail of light and joy behind them. Something for us all to emulate, really.

12. Is your closet organised?
Yes. Absolutely.

13. Can you describe your flashlight?
What the ...?
Yes, I can. It's very much like a torch. Thank you for asking.

14. Do you drink out of glass or plastic when you're at home?
Glass all the way. The days of toddlerdom when plastic reigned are gone forever, thank goodness.

15. Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now?
Is this person crazy? Why would you have this hanging around in your fridge? And if you did, wouldn't this have been covered in question 5?

16. If you have a garage, is it cluttered?
Our garage goes through a cycle of being neat, then gradually over the course of a term, it slides into total disarray. Then in the holidays I walk in, see it, chuck a wobbly and the kids go out and tidy it up again. There's two weeks of term to go, so you be the judge.

17. Curtains or blinds?
Both. I prefer to be unfettered by the window furnishing police, and run wild and free, utilising all of my choices as a consumer.

18. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Usually four, currently two. I like to billow among my pillows...

19. Do you sleep with any lights on at night?
No. I'm not afraid of the bogeyman. Or the boogieman, as he used to be called in my youth.

20. How often do you vacuum?
This is a job I hate. Jordan now does it for double his pocket money every week. (Relax... he only gets $5, so it's not too bad.)

21. Standard toothbrush or electric?
Standard. A yellow one, in case you were wondering.

22. What colour is your toothbrush?
Oops.

23. Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch?
No. Just a regular mat. You're NOT welcome, I suppose. Oh dear, do you think that's why I'm still single??? My lack of a welcome mat has scared off Mr Right.

24. What is in your oven right now?
It's 6.21am, so nothing except oven trays.

25. Is there anything under your bed?
Just a few dust bunnies.

26. Chore you hate doing the most?
Clipping Molly's toenails. (Molly is a dog.)

27. What retro items are in your home?
Me. I've taken up quilting, so that's pretty 'Little House on the Prairie', right?

28. Do you have a separate room that you use as an office?
Too many kids. When they move out in about fifteen years, you watch me take over this house!

29. How many mirrors are in your home?
Four, counting the bathroom mirror. We're very ugly so we prefer not to see ourselves unexpectedly.

30. What colour are your walls?
A muted grey/green in the lounge and kitchen, deep blue in my room and white everywhere else. Oh, and the toilet is pale yellow. I painted it when I was at home with the toddlers and I had to mix together bright yellow and white paint because I couldn't afford to get new paint. That was a long time ago, and it's due for a face lift.

31. Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. Jack used to have a cricket bat handy when he was home alone, but that was a few years ago.

32. What does your home smell like right now?
Morning.

33. Favourite candle scent?
I don't know. Jordan bought me a couple of scented candles for my birthday, and we're gradually using them. I'm not really a huge candle person.

34. What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now?
This meme author is obsessed with people's fridges. It's beginning to creep me out....

35. What colour is your favourite Bible?
How many bibles does one person need in order to have a favourite? Surely the story ends up the same no matter which edition you're reading? I used to have a red one that I was given at primary school when we did R.E. I'm sure it's still kicking around here somewhere. I make my kids do religious education at primary school, even though I'm on the fence with all of this. My reasoning is that the christian faith is central to the way our society has developed over the centuries, and there are so many references to biblical events in literature, art and (occasionally) conversation that kids have to know something about the bible or else they'll be out of the loop. If they ever choose to take it further then that's up to them. Faith, or the lack of it, is a purely personal thing.

36. Ever been on your roof?
Frequently. Footballs and tennis balls seem to be magnetically attracted to that thing. Plus it's a good place to hide from the kids.

37. Do you own a stereo?
A cd player? Yes.

38. How many tvs do you have?
Three.

39. How many house phones?
One. And a mobile.

40. Do you have a housekeeper?
No. But before I went back to teaching I used to be one.

41. What style do you decorate in?
Mine and mine alone....

42. Do you like solid colours in furniture, or prints?
Solid all the way, baby!

43. Is there a smoke detector in your home?
Three. I'm fairly attached to the kids, and I'd like them to have a sporting chance of getting out of the house should it ever decide to erupt in a fireball.

44. In case of fire, what are the items in the house that you'd grab if you could make one quick trip?
My laptop, which has all my photos and files on it. Any kid too slow or stupid to react in time to the smoke detectors. The dog sleeps outside, so she'd be fine. Unless she was playing with matches in her kennel and caused the whole conflagration. The cats sleep in the laundry which is a little out of the way, so they'd probably be in trouble. My jewelry box.

Phew! What a random lot of questions. I tag no one for this, because I'm too hungry. Breakfast awaits.